Is sexual assault a problem at WVU?

Sexual Assault is a problem on all campuses. WVU is as safe as most. Sexual assault is a pervasive problem and anyone can be a target of rape. Studies show that victims include infants to persons in their 90's, people of color, lesbians/gays, persons with disabilities, and persons of every racial, ethnic, religious, economic, and social background.

We also know that sexual assault victims are more likely to know their assailants. In fact more that 80% of sexual assaults are acquaintance assaults. Individuals between the ages of 16 and 23 are more vulnerable. The first six weeks a student is on campus is when they are most at risk.

Something sexual happened that I feel badly about but I don’t think I would call it rape. Can I still get help?

Of course you can receive services. Many men and women do not want to put that label ‘rape’ on the incident but sexual intercourse or intrusion without consent is rape or sexual assault. Whatever the name, it is traumatic and often very difficult for the victim to understand how someone could do something so horrid to them. Whether you choose to press charges, report the incident or tell anyone else at all you can receive help.

Where can I get help?

Obtaining medical care after a sexual assault is an important option. You may have some injuries; you may be worried about getting a sexually transmitted disease or becoming pregnant. The Emergency Room at Ruby Memorial Hospital has a team of nurses and doctors who are specially trained to care for people who have been sexually assaulted.

Medical care can include the following:

• Having a physical examination and being treated for injuries.
• You can get medication to prevent sexually transmitted diseases.
• You can discuss the option of taking the "morning after pill" to prevent pregnancy.
• The nurse and/or doctor can help you or call a counselor who can help you with the upsetting feelings you may be experiencing.
• You may want to have physical evidence taken and recorded (this is important if you want to proceed with legal action).
• The medical care you receive is confidential. The hospital cannot release information about the treatment you received, without your permission.
• It is your choice if you want the police involved. The staff will not report the assault to the police without your permission.
• If you are not sure what to do, we can discuss the choices with you. You can contact us at 293-1377.

How do you know if you’ve been slipped a date rape drug?

A person will act like they are drunk, at a faster rate than usual. If there is music in the background, listen to see if the bass sounds louder than normal. To reduce the risk of being drugged, don’t accept drinks from strangers. If you do, make sure you see the bartender make it. Do not leave your drinks unattended. Form a buddy system and watch out for your friends, and keep an eye on each other and your drinks. If you suspect that you have been drugged seek medical care ASAP.

Can A Guy Be Sexually Assaulted?

Many people believe that sexual assaults do not happen to guys. That's not true. Studies done in Canada show that one in six males is sexually assaulted before their 18th birthday. Another study shows that males rarely tell anyone about the assaults.

Sexual assault can happen to males regardless of their age, whether they are good-looking or not, if they are gay or straight. Offenders don't care if their victims are intelligent, rich, or poor.

Male victims report that when they have told others about their sexual assault, they aren't often believed. If they are believed, they aren't taken seriously. Sexual assault can leave males, feeling confused about their sexual identity, mistrustful of others, feeling angry, guilty, embarrassed and ashamed. They may have flashbacks of the assault, nightmares, and feel like hurting themselves or others. It is really important to ask for help, even though it might be embarrassing.

Recently, Sheldon Kennedy, the former National Hockey League player, revealed that he was sexually assaulted as a teenager. The offender was his hockey coach. Sometimes, people in positions of authority, like Sheldon's hockey coach, take advantage of the trust you have in them. They may use threats or cunning games to trick you. You may not be fully aware that what is happening is sexual assault. The offender also uses threats or bribes to keep guys from telling anyone. Sexual assault is a crime. It's not your fault and you don't have to be alone. Ask for help.

What if I tell my friends and no one believes me?

Don't let the fear that some people may not believe you stand in the way of getting the help and support you need. Some people will definitely believe you. Others may not. The important thing is that you find support from people who will believe you – maybe a trusted friend, a parent, a counselor. If you call the Sexual Assault Prevention Program, we will believe you – it may be a good place to start.

How Will My Family and Friends React?

You are struggling with your feelings and reactions after being sexually assaulted. Your family and friends will also struggle with many feelings of their own. They may need some help as well.

You may have mixed feelings about telling your friends and family. You may also be extremely sensitive to the way they respond to you. At a time when you need to talk about your feelings, others may have difficulty listening.

• When you need to make your own decisions, others may want to make decisions for you.
• When you want to be comforted, others pressure you for more physical intimacy.
• When you want to spend quiet time, others want you to talk about what happened.

When you are ready to talk, others avoid you because they don’t know what to say or do. No one seems to understand what to do or what you need. Family and friends may become overprotective as they try to cope with their own feelings of fear, powerlessness, and helplessness. Parents often feel they should have been there to protect you or somehow prevented the assault.

A spouse or partner may avoid closeness with you, or may feel that immediate intimacy will erase the trauma of the assault.

It’s up to you to decide how much you want to tell and to whom. It is also very important for you to have a support system. Family and friends are often your support. Understanding the feelings of your family or friends, doesn’t mean you have to take responsibility for their feelings. You need to be dealing with your own. Talking about feelings openly, or with the support of a counselor can help.

Should a person who has been sexually assaulted report it to the police?

We know that sometimes victims are embarrassed that people will think they "let it happen," or they are afraid, ashamed or worried that nobody will believe them. Maybe they're worried about what will happen to them, their family, or their friends.

Here are some important things to consider when you're trying to decide if and when you will report a sexual assault:

Reporting can be helpful to your emotional healing.

Reporting can give the offender the message that it's not okay to commit a sexual assault against you or anyone else.

Physical evidence can play an important role in proving a sexual assault case. It's important to collect physical evidence as soon as possible after the assault.

The longer you wait to report a sexual assault, the more physical evidence is lost. This makes it more difficult to prove that it happened.

You may have difficulty remembering some of the details of the assault if you wait too long to report it.

If I report that I've been sexually assaulted what will happen?

You can report a sexual assault right away by calling 911 or your local emergency number. An Emergency Call Operator will tell you what to do next. A police officer will come and talk with you to find out what happened and will write a report. A specially-trained plainclothes police officer will then investigate. If the assault occurred within the past three days, the operator or police officer may encourage you to go to Ruby Memorial Hospital Emergency Department. This is to make sure you are not injured and to discuss the possibility of having a Sexual Assault Evidence Kit completed.

If you're under 16 years old and have been assaulted by a family member or you are at risk of further abuse, a Children's Aid worker will participate in a joint investigation with police to make sure you're safe.

Do I have any choices about what the police will do?

Yes. You can choose to take no further action. The police will write a report and it will be filed for safe keeping. You can also ask to have an investigation completed by the police. If the prosectutor feels there is enough evidence they will proceed with charges.

If the offender gets found "not guilty" will I be called a liar or get arrested?

You will not be called a liar if the offender gets found "not guilty". You will not be arrested if the offender is found "not guilty."

What punishment will a sexual offender get?

A judge must listen to the evidence in court. If the judge finds the offender guilty, she/he must decide on the right sentence. West Virginia Sate Law sets out rules for what sentence the judge may choose. You can let the judge know how the sexual assault affected you, by writing a letter. This is called a 'Victim Impact Statement'. This information will also be used to decide the sentence.

How many years after you've been sexually assaulted can you turn the person in?

There is no time limit on when you can report a sexual assault. However, reporting it as soon as possible may increase the chances of proving a sexual assault case.

I am having trouble sleeping.

If you have been sexually assaulted, you may find it difficult to sleep. You may wake up in the middle of the night and find it hard to get back to sleep. You may have nightmares, or hout out during sleep. Or you may sleep more than usual.

This may seem strange or worrisome if it happens to you, but it is a normal reaction after having been assaulted. It may take some time before you will be able to sleep the way you did before you were assaulted.

Make These Thoughts Stop

You think about the assault, even when you don't want to. You may replay it over and over in your mind. When you don't expect it, something may remind you. This may be frightening, but it's normal.

You may find it helpful to talk about your thoughts and feelings with someone you trust. A counselor who knows about sexual assault can help. As you begin to feel safe again, you will notice that you don't think about the assault as often.

What to do if your friend or family member is in an abusive relationship.

Point out the different types of abuse:

• Physical Abuse : hitting, punching, slapping, restraining, throwing objects, etc.
• Sexual Abuse : bragging about sexual relationship, flirting to make you jealous, rape, etc.

Realize that your friends and family members may not understand that they are in an abusive relationship. That is why it is important to explain to them the different types of abuse. Express your concerns to them. Be accepting and try to understand that there are good and bad times in your friend’s or family member’s relationship. Don’t be upset if they keep returning to their abusive partner. Help your friend or family member realize that they are not to blame. Support them. Be there. Listen to them and stay there for them.

What to do if you know someone who has been raped.

Be there for him/her – be supportive. Reinforce that he/she is not to blame for what happened. Encourage him/her to seek medical attention and to tell a trusted adult.

Why do people abuse their boy/girlfriend?

The main reasons why people are abusive are because they want power and they want control. They want to be able to control the situation and the person. Some example of controlling behavior are telling them how to dress and telling them who they can and cannot be friends with.

How A Friend Can Help

We asked young people how a friend can help if someone has been assaulted. Here are some of their suggestions:

LISTEN . . .

"I think a friend should listen without asking a lot of questions or giving a lot of advice right away."

"My friends wouldn't have to say anything just being there would be helpful."

BELIEVE . . .

"Friends should believe what the person tells you."

"Friends shouldn't ask "Why" questions like, "Why did you?" or "Why didn't you ?" "Why" questions can make you feel guilty about what happened when you aren't at fault."

"Friends don't make excuses for the offender."

BE SUPPORTIVE . . .

"You should stick up for your friend if other people are talking about what happened and blaming your friend – they need your support."

"You should offer to go with your friend to tell their parents, a school counsellor or the police."

BE UNDERSTANDING . . .

"Be sure you tell your friend that what happened wasn't their fault. Sometimes it takes a long time for someone to believe it, so it's good to keep telling them."

"Let them know that they won't always feel this bad. Things will get better in time."

"Show them that the assault does not change your friendship or how you feel about them."

ENCOURAGE . . .

"Remember your friend may need more help than you can give by yourself. Encourage them to reach out to others who may be able to help, such as other friends and adults – like a teacher or counselor."

"Let the person make their own decisions and choices. Respect what she/he wants to do – even if you have a different opinion."

What does a sexual offender look like?

There is really no way to tell for sure if a person might be a sex offender because the offender usually looks as normal as anyone else. Sometimes there may be no clues even in the way a person acts. You may be concerned about someone's behavior if a person makes rude sexual comments towards you, bugs you to have sex when you don't want to , follows you around, or if a person has sexually assaulted someone else.

What should I do if I am being sexually harassed at school?

Confront the person who is sexually harassing you and ask them to stop. If it continues, let your teacher know what is going on.

What are the legal consequences for sexual harassment?

It depends on your school policy, but a student could be suspended or expelled. It is important that you know your school’s policy, if you don’t, be sure to get a copy of your school’s policy.

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